Aug 28 2008
Where’s my shoe?
It has become increasingly harder for me to get to work lately. Now working for almost 2 full months, my little one has decided he doesn’t like it when I go to work. About two weeks ago the tears started coming and the protests, and the sobbing. I swear there are days where my departure resembles the part in Titanic where Rose vows she “won’t let go”. He says: “No mommy I can’t let you go. No Mommy-noooooo!” My husband has to pull him away as he clings to my body as if he will never see me again. I in turn go to work feeling horrible like the mother who has abandoned her baby. Thankfully, the older one sleeps later, because if the two of them get together on this process, it will prove to be my downfall. As it is, the older one will say EVERY NIGHT: “Mommy, do you have to work tomorrow?’ When I answer yes, he says: “Can you skip it?” Is it really so bad while I am gone? The best is when they say they miss me or when they get on the phone and say: “Mommy are you coming home soon?” It breaks my heart. I miss our trips to the park, and playing in the yard. I miss splashing in the sprinkler and riding bikes in the street. What I miss most though is the all day kisses and the hugs so tight. AS I write this with tears building in my eyes, I have to stop myself and say: this too shall pass. They will get over it. But will they? Will I? Ugh–this economy has ruined us. Mommy’s all over the country are having to leave their babies and take jobs to help pay the bills and our kids are the ones who are really suffering. ANYWAY…
So today, the three year old was in rare form and told me: “Don’t you dare go to work!” I held back my laughter and put on my straight face. “I have to go to work baby” I said as I grabbed my shoes. I managed to get one on and the other one he grabbed and sat on. “No work!” he said. I figured wrestling him for the shoe was not a good idea as it would be harder for me to calm him down PLUS it would wake the other kid and I didn’t want that to happen. So, I walked away into the kitchen, one shoe on and one off with the hopes that he would just forget it. I grabbed my jewelry and put it on and returned to the living room expecting him to be still sitting on the shoe, but to my surprise it was gone. “Where’s mommy’s shoe buddy?” ”You can’t go!” . My husband walks in and he lets out a: “I hate you Daddy-go back to work!”. WHOAH nice greeting right? It got worse from there. I picked him up and held him. Kissed him. Loved him. Then had to leave him crying and reaching for me. =( When he realized I was really leaving he yelled: “Mommy I need a kiss.” I gave him a kiss and he calmed down. Thank GOD! However, I don’t know how much longer I can handle this parting is such sweet sorrow business.
aw! you poor thing! who are they with during the day?
Something I have learned about kids is that they worry more than anyone realizes. Maybe you can set up some kind of routine to count down until mommy gets home to make it a fun thing. Assign projects to do for mommy while you’re at work so they can make something special for you when you get home. And make sure they know that you will come back. I think kids, especially at three, have a fear of loss.
My brother-in-law has traveled I think maybe 3 times for his job in the 12 years I have known him. Last year was the first time since my nephew was born. The day he left, he had a panic attack and kept getting very upset that daddy wasn’t home. He didn’t get that daddy was going for a few days, but he was upset he wouldn’t come back. Since then, even though he came back, he gets upset if daddy isn’t home on time.
You changed their routine when you went to work. You need to set up a new one that makes the fact that you are gone okay with them, and something fun, like a game.
Good luck!
~Kelly
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