Nov 09 2008
Things your 5 year old learns in first grade, that he hasn’t learned from the teacher
First Grade–what a wonderful time in young child’s life. So many new friends, so many new experiences, so many new things to learn. I love that my son is growing up. He is reading books all by himself, it no longer takes an hour and a half for him to write a sentence as it did in kindergarten, and he actually realizes that there are consequences for doing the wrong things and tries to do the right thing–most of the time. There are a few things that he has learned since his entrance into first grade, however, that I know his teacher has not been responsible for teaching him. Here is a list of the wonderful things he has learned from his classmates (some of which are a bit off the mark, but what do you expect from a first grader):
Wet toilet paper thrown up high and hard enough will stick to the ceiling.
Hannah Montana is now a Hottie rather than a nice country girl.
Raw and Smack Down should now replace Noggin and PBS KIDS =(
Playdates have now been labeled “hanging out with my peeps”
When you are finished with a juice box or juice bag you can use the straw to blow it back up and then jump on it to make a loud pop!
Ketchup packets are also very fun to pounce on.
John Cena is a hero (yes, I probably spelled it incorrectly and proud of it!)
Everyone sings and dances their way through HS like Troy and Gabriella.
There are boy toys and girl toys and boys should only play boy things and girls should only play girl things. Except for Power Rangers–then its okay for the girl to be the pink one and the yellow one.
It is very easy to make someone cry–you just have to tell them they can’t play with you.
Being the class clown makes your friends laugh–and that’s cool.
If one of his classmates says to do something, he should do it.
If one of his classmates says they have something or are getting something, he should have it/get it too.
If one of his classmates says something is true, it must be true. For example “James says God is not Real, and Jesus is not a king, and that he is going to be a police officer and shoot me someday….oh and he also has a real mystic ranger morpher that can change him into a real ranger.” TRUE STORY!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST–MY LEAST FAVORITE LESSON THAT HE HAS LEARNED:
It’s not cool to kiss your mom goodbye at the gate (when your friends are looking).
I must say, first grade is a bit upsetting to mommy. =(
